Harley Brown emerges from Fat Jack’s basement

Friday, May 16, 2014

In our continuing effort to establish ourselves as serious commentators about the end times, we bring you Harley Brown, a candidate for governor of the great state of Idaho.

Except he really wants to be president. President of what, you ask? Why, the United States, of course. God came to him in a vision while he was living in Fat Jack’s basement and told him that he wants him to be President of the You Nighted States.

And you know what?

He’s got a letter from an African Bishop that says that’s what God wants.

What does that have to do with running for governor, you ask?

Simple, you moran. He needs the practice.

So let it be written.

So let it be done.

Here’s Harley Brown, as described by the New York Daily News.

“I don’t like political correctness. Can I say this? It sucks! It’s bondage,” Brown, who had a cigar firmly placed into his shirt pocket the whole time, told the cameras.

“I’m going for the vote of the real people out there, not these bondage-type who don’t have a clue about picking up strangers at night and hauling them God-knows-where,” he added.

After claiming he had “a Master’s in raisin’ hell,” he told viewers his plan to seize power.

“You bind those evil spirits behind the feds with the blood of Jesus, the name of Jesus, the power of entombment of the Holy Spirit, the power of agreement, the word of God. Take air superiority, and then roll in with your tanks on the ground, like … lawsuits. Blitzkrieg!”

Yumpin’ Yiminy,

Only in America.

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18 Responses to Harley Brown emerges from Fat Jack’s basement

  1. Sorry, but Crane and I had errands to deal with today and just got home.

    We’re bushed.

    See y’all tomorrow.

    Meanwhile, check out that documentary she posted.

    Good night.

  2. racerrodig says:

    I’m leaning towards the fingerless leather gloves being a bit of a turn off for most voters.

  3. bettykath says:

    Chris Hayes did a bit on him. Seems that the candidate for governor didn’t want a “reputable” candidate in the debate. He had to give in on this so he added two absurdities to the debate and then made sure that he and the two he added monopolized the time so that the voters didn’t find out much about his serious opponent.

    Let’s hope his opponent wins. It would serve him right if one of his dupes won but that would be disastrous for the state.

  4. colin black says:

    i VOTE Miles Mathison with Bass Monroe as Vice, Tom Neville Secretery of Defence..

    Now they would put a boot up Putins butt.

  5. If the mainstream media wouldn’t give air time or paper space to these crazies, they’d probably be featured only on TP blogs. *smh*

  6. Malisha says:

    NY Times’ blatant lie:

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/15/1299692/-The-New-York-Times-Busted-Lying-Through-its-Teeth?detail=email

    So now we know why they precipitously fired their editor and replaced her three days ago.

    • The Orange County Register (Cali) framed the internet issue the same way as the NYT this AM. No surprise – OCR is a longtime 1%-er Republican paper. This rag actually publishes an article just before every election that tells readers how they should vote and many actually follow that article without reading their county election booklet that explains each issue and candidate stance neutrally.

      I bet the fired editor probably has a good shot at a wrongful termination lawsuit, if she chooses to do so.

  7. Malisha says:

    I can’t even react.

    I can’t even understand it.

    I am presuming it’s some kind of theater of the absurd but I can’t fashion my mind around it at all.

    BTW the word “moran” confused me too; either it’s a multi-operator radio access network or it’s a member of the warrior group of the Masai people of East Africa, which comprises the younger unmarried males. 😀

  8. racerrodig says:

    Shit…….what’s wrong with all you people.

    He has experience as a biker, a bike gang president and knows all about transmissions with granny gears and overdrive.

    AND his wife screens his inflamatory internet jokes. What more can you ask of a Presidential candidate ?? !! ?? Isn’t that what a First Lady is expected to do ??

    Just picture one of his State of the Union address’s !!!

    Hell……….he’s one of, well…….never mind.

    Someone told me he’s changing his name to Harley WhitePower.

  9. Something about a shining citadel on a hill . . . or maybe it’s the Shining.

    Wait! Was that Oscar Pistorius?

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