What should someone in an abusive relationship do to get out of it?

Friday, August 30, 2013

Good morning:

Great comments on the Shellie Zimmerman thread.

With a few exceptions, seems like a consensus has been reached that Shellie is an abused wife who has not been emotionally, and perhaps financially, supported by her husband and his family. Their absence at her plea and sentencing certainly indicates a lack of emotional support. That absence speaks volumes about who and what they are, particularly since she obviously committed the lie to benefit him.

Some believe she is every bit as much a grifter as he is and her apparent abandonment by him and his family is just another scam the two of them are running with a possible tell-all book/movie project in the works.

Some of you caught her in the lie about her nursing education. The lie would be apparent to anyone with a background in nursing. That is, her absence of clinical experience would negate her claim because one cannot get to where she claims to be with only on-line classes. She appears not to even realize that her lie would be instantly discovered.

That lack of awareness on her part indicates that she was never serious about becoming a nurse.

If she was never serious about becoming a nurse, what is she serious about?

If, as I suspect, the answer is George Zimmerman, she has a lot of growing to do before she breaks free from his grasp.

I noticed in the comments that several of you have been involved in abusive relationships and successfully disengaged from them.

Assuming Shellie is involved in an abusive relationship and is seeking to break free, what do you believe she should do?

I realize that this is a complicated subject that I know little about and I do not want to pry or open old wounds, so no one should feel like they have to participate.

Let’s simplify and take Shellie out of the discussion, since we do not know for certain what her situation is.

The question for discussion: What should someone in an abusive relationship do to get out of it?

I’m going to create an open thread for those who want to discuss or comment on other matters.

One possible subject was just raised by Secretary of State, John Kerry, who asked the American public to review newly unclassified documents about the Syrian government’s alleged use of chemical weapons to kill and subdue its own people. What should our government do about it, he asks.

54 Responses to What should someone in an abusive relationship do to get out of it?

  1. fauxmccoy says:

    i’ve waited long to respond to this post for my own personal reasons. yes, i have my own stories to tell and my professional experience working with my local women’s shelter. i will leave all of that unsaid however and simply post the website for where i used to work. there is solid information here for anyone who needs it and they are not limited to word limits ๐Ÿ™‚

    http://www.catalystdvservices.org/

  2. Soulcatcher says:

    My daughter was in a abusive relationship. She and her ex went to the courthouse one day and got married. She was at my house several days later, and he caught her outside and beat the crap out of her. We called the paramedics and they came and cleaned her up, and the police showed up and took pictures and a report, even though she wouldn’t tell who did it, they said it would be on record. Soon he did it again, she did make a report, and went to the hospital, this time two black eyes and a broken jaw. Here in calif if you make a report of spousal abuse, you cant’t change your mind, you have to go to court. By then they have made up, like Racahel said they’re sorry, blah, blah. Or he would take Moonshadow and tell her he was going to the reservation with him, and she sould never see him again. He’d spend a couple of months in jail, and profess he’d changed, and all over again.

    My Stepfather passed away last year, and we moved down south because we didn’t want my mom down here alone. All though it killed us to leave Moonshadow, since we had more or less raised him, and we hoped that they would all bond. Within 2 days, my daughter called, he was threatening her, and she wanted to come down here. We had someone get Moonshadow, and she packed what she could, and met us at a motel. She stayed down here, and we have Moonshadow with us most of the time, while she goes to school.

    Several days after she left, he got a gun, and went to his aunts house, and shot her boyfriend. He has been in jail since awaiting trial for attempted murder. His aunt tried the get the charges dropped, and said she won’t testify, but I don’t think they are letting her. His whole family now blames my daughter for leaving him. She says she’s glad she left, they are now divorced, but every now and then I hear sadness in her voice. She doesn’t want to look back, and is almost afraid to look forward. I tell her it’s okay for now, it will take time.

  3. Rachael says:

    “What should someone in an abusive relationship do to get out of it?”

    First one has to understand that they ARE in an abusive relationship and then the have to understand that they ARE in danger if they don’t leave.

    An abuser can have their “victim” totally convinced that they are being watched and if they leave them, there is nowhere they can go that they will not be found. For She’lLie, I could certainly see where she would believe this. Look at all the strings GZ has pulled.

    When I had been in a DV situation, I left several times, three maybe even four but I kept going back. I would go to DV shelters, but I made sure it was a different one each time because I didn’t want them to think – oh, here she comes again. But the last time, I went to a DV shelter, it stuck. Over the fireplace hung about 15 plaques. The plaques were of women who had gone back one last time – literally one last time. I knew that if I went back, it would be my last time and I had the strength to finally do it.

    She probably believes that he will come after her and that he has “people” everywhere who will find her everywhere. But until she understands she is safer that way than with him, there is nothing she can do to get out of it. It isn’t something you can just “get out of,” or the problem of DV wouldn’t exist to begin with.

    • Rachael says:

      Oh yeah – and you have to be willing to give up a lot. I moved to a different state where I had no family or friends (“they” try to harass your friends to find out where you are or if you are with them), and upon finding out I was pregnant, changed my name and SS# and cut all contact with everyone from my past – except my parents – who later, I found out, didn’t tell other family or anyone where I was. I just found my aunt and uncle now after over 20 years and they had no idea where I was and said my parents wouldn’t tell them.

      If I wouldn’t have found out I was pregnant, who knows. I might have gone back too, but I came here to start a new life, and apparently that got taken literally.

      • Rachael says:

        But initially they’re hard to get out of because the denial is a mess. Even though you’ve become isolated from your family and friends, and even though the person chips away at your self esteem, perhaps verbally and or physically abusing you, there’s a honeymoon period after where they’re so sorry and they’ll change, and never do it againa and all the sudden everythings wonderful the way it was before and you want to believe them. Some people who have never grown up with any form of abuse realize this is wrong and don’t give it a second chance but if this is what you know in some form or another it takes a long time and a few times for it to sink in, if it ever does it all.

  4. Judy75201 says:

    I was lucky enough to be able to use patience to get out of an abusive relationship, altho it was not anywhere near as bad as many women (and some men, too) go through.

    I was dating & then living with a Lebanese Muslim (they ease up on the rules when not on hallowed ground lol). He only threatened to hit me, but that’s enough for me. I knew his aircraft-mechanic training would be complete in a couple of months, and he would have to go back to Saudi Arabia (where his family had moved to a few years earlier). He had money. He was handsome. He said he loved me, wanted to marry me. He cried when I saw him off at the airport. He came BACK two weeks later, unannounced, knocking on my door (how much did that airfare cost him??). I had to finally tell him I simply didn’t love him (altho he seemed to think that loving me was all that was necessary).

    After that, I never heard from him again. I was so relieved. I still very-occasionally have a dream that he is after me.

    It was so very stressful for a couple of months, so painful. Aside from the threatened physical abuse, he would accuse me of having sex with random men if I went to 7-11 by myself! I so wanted to be rid of him that, altho I only had a crappy Honda Civic hatchback (we’re talking around 1984), that I refused his slick new white w/gray interior Camaro as a gift, because nothing is every really free.

    I waited him out, and have never regretted it.

  5. pat deadder says:

    I come from a very small place.My husband’s sister and I were friends.He came home from being away from the age of 16.He was 21 and very.handsome.I found out years later he came home because a girl who’s husband was in jail was pregnant by him.
    Anyway we started dating.One night I was waiting for him outside a bar in the car.Only men could go inside the bars.
    So it was dark and this kid was walking.I asked him did he need a ride home.I drove him home.Got back he was waiting and I told him I had driven the kid home.The kid was black by the way.
    The shit hit the fan I had 2 black eyes,he pulled out lots of my hair and I won’t lower myself to say what he called me or the kid.
    Guess what I married him.
    I won’t bore you with it all.After all I stayed for 25 years.
    He would cry and say things after like it won’t happen again I am an asshole I can’t live without you.,bla bla bla
    He had so many good qualities.We moved to a city,he worked hard,brought home his pay check became very successful.We had a son.I worked and still do.I helped to support us till he got his business going.
    His problem was alcohol.We never saw him sober ever on a weekend.
    He died at 59 because of it.
    The thing about abuse it doesn’t happen everyday.Months could go by and everything was okay then bang but you always walk on pins and needles.
    I always felt inferior to him.He was very personable I was quiet.
    Our son is married has 3 kids and is very outgoing and so caring.
    My husband had many affairs.Do I understand it myself NO.

    • Thanks for sharing that painful story. Looks like you deserve a lot of credit for making it possible for your son to break the cycle.

    • racerrodig says:

      Kudos for being strong enough to take care of things. My brother is a wife beater. Many holidays would roll around and he’d be at a gathering, but not her. It wasn’t until she left him, and we stayed friends with her, that she finally admitted what I had suspected years before.

      She wouldn’t be there because of the black eye, the bruises, the cuts and bleeding……on & on.

  6. Two sides to a story says:

    I was either pretty stubborn or simply attracted abusive men – or they to me. I had 3 abusive relationships in a row. I’m not a wimp, but I’m extremely sentimental / co-dependent and found it difficult to detach and walk away. It’s most difficult when kids are involved and I had 4 kids with these three guys. (I had two other nicer relationships that didn’t last and didn’t produce children.) Fortunately, none of these relationships lasted long – 4 years, 6 years, and 18 months. I clearly had the ability to walk away and found that I felt relieved and empowered by doing so. I really didn’t need much counseling (reading books on the subject was more my speed) and I had and education and decent jobs, so it was just a matter of throwing in the towel. The problem was always in meeting up with the next romantic psycho. Oh, and one of my children’s father’s pulled a fast one and ended up with custody of my second eldest child through a series of unsupported lies, and once she was old enough to understand, she became closer to me.

    There really is life after relationships like these. I’ve been single more years than I was ever in relationships – to this day I still attract mostly dysfunctional men, so I avoid dating and find I’m a happy camper nonetheless.. I simply enjoy friends and whatever else life has to offer. Fewer complications that way.

    I’d advise men or women stuck in unproductive relationships to examine what love really is.

  7. Malisha says:

    What should a person in an abusive relationship do to get out of it?

    If you’re anyone but Shellie Zimmerman:
    Get help; get out; if you have kids, get custody; get independent.

    If you’re Shellie: Take your kal-tec to the 7-11; on the way home, meet up with hubby and get real scared.

    • Soulcatcher says:

      And tell your probation officer you were on your way to turn in your gun so you would not break the terms of your probation, and out of nowhere he suddenly appeared, and said do you got a problem, he came towards me, and I SYG.

    • Rachael says:

      Yes, she needs to understand that SYG is there for her too.

  8. racerrodig says:

    I love it when you talk dirty…….oppps, sorry. But you know how I stand with anything FogenPhoole.

    He couldn’t be at her court hearing because Smith & Wesson had an online factory tour…….had to be the reason……or was it Colt??

    No matter, he’s, as you stated in very clear and unambiguous terms, a worthless, self centered, lying, murdering sack of shit.

    I hope he finds gainful employment in the construction field………and gets accidentally buried under 100 tons of cement.

    As Judy Tenuta would say “It could happen”

    • Two sides to a story says:

      I expect some sort of poetic justice to find Fogen.

      • racerrodig says:

        Be a real hoot if he gets offed and they claim self defense…….I’m bettin’ we’ll all be far mor generous than the Zidiots if that does happen.

        My wife & I were talking about this today…….any takers he starts some shit with SheLie, he murders her and claims self defense again……anyone think SheLie hasn’t thought that could happen????

        • If that hasn’t occurred to her, she’d better think again. Her life may well depend on it.

        • Rachael says:

          Self-defense seems to be a pattern with him. It is really more like refusing to take responsibility for himself, but he seems to like to call it self-defense. It was self-defense with the ex girlfriend, self-defense with the police officer – I don’t know if it was self-defense when he was a bouncer, and of course self-defense with Trayvon. Kind of makes one wonder why someone is in a situation where they need self-defense so often. I mean everyone should know some self-defense in case, but he seems to be in situations where he has used it more than most. But of course, like I said, it isn’t self-defense, it is not taking responsibility for himself and his actions. With him it’s always someone else.

          • racerrodig says:

            He’s the typical “sissy bully” I have a brother exactly like him and it’s the same thing….his cars have been re – po for, needless to say, non – payment…he blamed me. His wife finally had enough abuse and left….that was my fault as well……failed a year in school…..my fault on that one as well. Even when I would warn him that a certain noise in the engine of his pick up was an indication of impending catastrophic failure, when it let go…..hey blame racer !!

            The worst is that he cons everyone into believing his lies……sound familiar ??

            But he’d start a fight and man would I tune his ass up back those years ago……then he’d run to mom or dad and I’d get the whoppin’ no matter what witnesses I had as to who started it.

            That’s a Fogen trait. To top it all off we loaned him a substantial about of $$ to avoid foreclosure and he told everyone in the family we borrowed from him !! Seems he forgot the signature on that loan doc. we had him signed……Mom said it was all my fault because…….(drum roll please) “It’s your fault…..you know how he is”

            The more I get to know my family…………the better I like my friends.

          • My family was not like television families such as Leave it to Beaver. My family was nuts. As a matter of fact, seems like everyone I know grew up in a dysfunctional family. I suspect the perfect television families of the 50s and 60s never existed, with the possible exception of the Addams Family and Dark Shadows which were too cool for school.

  9. I’ll be blunt. I think she should leave that scary, unsupportive marriage. He drinks, he lies, and he has used her. He does not care about her, or he would have been there, when she took the fall for his bullshit. If he can’t even have the decency to be there for that, I can’t see him being there for anything else. His world is all about him. He doesn’t give a fucking shit about anyone else. I wouldn’t put it past him to attempt to do something to get her a probation violation, or to threaten to turn her in, unless she does certain things. He lies, and he is surrounded with liars. I’d get out, if I were her. I would not get my things, even, I would send someone else in.

    • Two sides to a story says:

      That’s actually his grandmother’s name too and refers to her, but I agree with everything else! Shellie needs to run the other way as fast as she can.

      • Thank you for the correction. My bad on that part (the name), and I will ask it to be removed when Fred comes back to his screen. But the rest of it stays!

        • bettykath says:

          Leave it. We can see that it’s a mistake – you’ve acknowledged and apologized. We all make mistakes and on a scale of 1-10, it doesn’t show up ๐Ÿ™‚

        • pat deadder says:

          Two sides I think his grandmother;s name is Christine,The cousin is Christina same as tattoo from what I’ve read.Could be wrong.

          • looneydoone says:

            Grandmother’s name is spelled Cristina (no H)
            however, the cross tattoo above the heart usually signifies the loss of a loved one..he’s had that tatt a long time, and grandma’s still alive

    • Soulcatcher says:

      If she does not have the finacial means, there are always shelters for women who are being abused who will help her start a new life. They will see she recieved the legal and emotional support she needs in a safe and secure enviroment, set her up in housing and secure employment when when she is ready. I’m sure she could get approval from probation to move to another county or possibly out of state. I know parolees can get permission to get released to another area with good reason.

      • No doubt a probation officer would work with her and transfer those papers. I am wondering what kind of a support system she does have. I found the jailhouse phone calls to be odd, in that she seemed to have little knowledge of the finances. I think he controls the finances, which is typical in an abusive situation. I wonder if she has any girlfriends even, or if he controls her social life as well.

        • Soulcatcher says:

          @CS, I’ll bet she has no friends, abusers usually don’t trust their partners to be around others.

          • Oh I know. I had one of these freaks in my life one time- he cut off all contact with anyone, total and complete isolation, it was. And the kicker was this: somehow, someway everything was my fault. Like I made him do these awful things.

            And actually, if she has no one to turn to, her officer would most definitely help. They are really a lot like social workers in many ways. They will work with her.

        • Girlp says:

          I believe he controlled every aspect of her life. I wonder if he allowed her to work.

        • Xena says:

          @Crane-Station.

          I wonder if she has any girlfriends even, or if he controls her social life as well.

          Sondra Osterman who just loves her some “Georgie.”

          • Soulcatcher says:

            @Xena,

            She sure does, so much so couldn’t hear him say what everybody else could hear, “Fucking punks.” How many times did they have to play it for her. Four times, and she could still not hear it. I listened to the tape again, never caught it before, but MOM asks her how often they interacted, and she said “well they worked together everyday, and his wife and I were best friends.”
            Wonder why she used were instead of are?

          • Xena says:

            @Soulcatcher.

            Wonder why she used were instead of are?

            Good catch!! Sondra put it in past-tense, uh? Maybe when ShelLIE was transfering $9,999 numerous times into her credit union account and safe deposit box, she forgot all about blessing Sondra and Mark for taking care of her and George for 6 weeks. George was in jail and couldn’t, but Shellie could.

          • Oh God. But not some Shellie, of course. Sondra Osterman, B-37, TalkLeft…where the hell are these women coming from, to worship at the alter of ‘Georgie?’

  10. Xena says:

    Divorce should be simple for ShelLIE. They have no assets to divide and no children. If she needs shelter and money, then that is not coming from GZ anyway.

    • Woow! says:

      She is entitled to money he received in donations. The money is community property since the donors said it was for both he and his wife safety.

      • crazy1946 says:

        Woow!, She might not be entitled to any or much of the money donated to “his” defense fund. Check Florida law when it comes to gifts given to either one of the parties of the marriage partnership. In many states the party the gift was given to keeps and does not have to split with the other any gift of money or goods they have received… However in this case, I do not think it will be relevant, as any separation or divorce would be a scam to avoid any potential loss in a law suit brought by any creditor from the defense of the Fogdoit, or from a potential loss in civil action to the parents of Trayvon. To those who think the Fogdoit would not be willing to do this, because of fear that Shel-lie would stiff him, that won’t happen, he says jump she asks how high…..

      • Xena says:

        @Woow! The question is, is there any donated money remaining? Papa Zim told Barbara Walters that GZ receives an amount once a month from the legal defense fund, and that was running out. Based on Donnelley’s testimony at trial, he purchased clothes for GZ to wear to court, so the monthly allowance was not sufficient for GZ to purchase clothes.

        All in all, if there isn’t sufficient money for clothes, then dividing it between two individuals may accomplish very little for them individually. I also question the legality of having a “legal defense fund” when he is no longer a defendant.

        • Valerie says:

          Professor/anyone please clarify for me…was his bond money returned to him?

          • Dave says:

            No. GZ paid a fee to the bail bond company who put up the bond. The $100k fee is nonrefundable..

          • No. All of the cash that he posted went to pay the 10% premium ($100,000) on the $1 M bond. Property secured the rest. After the case ended, the real estate used to secure the bond was reconveyed to the owners who posted it, presumably his parents.

            The bail bondsman kept the premium, which is the bondsman’s fee for agreeing to take the risk of paying the $1 M bond, if GZ rabitted on it.

            This is the typical bail bondsman contract and fee.

  11. Woow! says:

    Shelly and George never should have gotten married if they cannot support each other emotionally or financially. She did not work, he could not hold a job and his father was paying their rent and buying their groceries. What kind of man is he that he cannot feed his wife.

    On being abused, my husband hit me (punched me in the face), threw me across a room, put me out of my car on the side of a narrow dark road about 30 miles from our home. I am a firm believer that if he hit you one time he will do it again. Then the SOB told me if I leave him he would kill me.

    I would wait until we were in public and I would say little things that I knew would set him off. His favorite thing was calling me a biotch or something stupid like that. People would look and mumble and I was like, oh yeah witnesses to verbal abuse. Next I would crank it up with the little things I would say when home and he would get buck wild with the yelling cursing and threats to kill me. All the while I would have dialed 911 and sat the phone down where he could not see it put the operator could hear. That is when I honed my acting skills, please leave me alone, just leave or let me and the kids leave, don’t hit me, and the good old screaming to the top of my lungs if he grabbed me. I could see the cops when they pulled up so I would make sure to say something to get him even more cranked up. All it took was just let me and the kids leave or don’t talk to me.

    What he didn’t know is words don’t hurt me. My mother raised me to be a strong woman. What I wanted to do is not have to deal with him where my kids were concerned because he didn’t spend time with told me often F me and the kids because he could make another family……I knew he would use the kid to get to me by fighting for custody.

    The next time he hit me I waited until he went to sleep, put my boys in the car, went back in side got one of his thick leather belts and fastened one of those really big master locks through where the buckle was. Every time he charged at me I would take a chunk out of his head. I got three of four good swing until the lock fell off. I ran and got in my car with my black eye headed to the closet police station hysterical and filed for a restraining order (I could have won an Oscar or Tony that night the acting skills were on point). I had established a history of abuse plus self defense. I got my babies and never looked back. He was missing a few plugs out of his head from where that lock connected.

    You may take my actions in that situation as being extreme but I worked in the court system, a poor paralegal making only $30,000 yr at the time. I saw what abused women went through. He was an only child born to parents who were doctors. I did not have the money to fight so I did what I had to do and took the advice of a judge that told me in that particular court system, all the family court judges hated woman beaters. That was all I needed to know.

    I walked away from my home, car, furniture, and clothes and never looked back. I am a happy home owner and mother of an electrical engineer, and two college students one petroleum geophysics and the youngest a first year pharmacy student.

    Unfortunately he died last year. His mother called to let me know so that I could tell the kids. I told her in my warmest and most sincere voice to “bury that mutha fucker face down so he could scratch his way into hell faster”.

    Of course she as not happy and I interrupted her in the middle of her disgust to let her know that she condoned what he did to me and his second wife (she stayed and took the abuse) and on her judgement day, our Father would have her tossed in the pit with gasoline drawers on for condoning what her son did, lying for him in Court.

    Thank you for letting me share my story of abuse.

    • Two sides to a story says:

      I had one use a kid to get to me too. It nearly killed me, but I lived through it and refused to tug back for her sake. It all worked out eventually.

      It’s difficult to deal with those liars – even if you know better, when you hear people saying all the time that up is down and white is black, it’s mindbending. I stay as far away from such people as possible these days.

  12. bettykath says:

    I grew up in a dysfunctional home where my father regularly showed verbal disrespect to my mother but I didn’t recognize this as abuse. I really didn’t know how a wife should be treated.

    I was in an emotionally (occasionally, but rarely, physically) abusive relationship for 17 years. His need to make all decisions was apparent even before we married. He seemed to know when I was unable to stand up for myself and he took advantage of it. I aggravated the situation by learning to play golf and to fly and to maintain my own finances but making equal (sometimes more) contributions to household expenses.

    I left after 7 years. He showed up one day and begged me to return. He was such a mess that I was concerned that he would kill himself. I didn’t want his death on my conscience. Big mistake!

    It was when he started spending long weekends at the lake with the wife of a man who had to travel for work that humiliation and depression wakened me to the fact that if I didn’t leave, I’d die. A job transfer to another state is what helped me to finally leave.

    Interestingly, after a year or so separation, I seriously considered going back to him. Fortunately, this didn’t happen, but it’s an indication that I wasn’t healed from his abuse. I was still struggling with recovering for several more years before I took the iq test to prove to myself that I wasn’t “stupid”, an indication that it took as many years of recovery as I spent in the relationship. It still po’s me that he considered my contributions to the mortgage (one half) as rent. It’s not so much the loss of tens of thousands of dollars, but his attitude that his wife should pay rent to live in the marital domicile. It turns out that all of “our” friends were all “his” friends who all blamed me for our breakup. Even some of my own family couldn’t understand why I would consider divorcing that really nice man.

    Another woman experienced years of abuse before she got herself and her three children into counseling. She also knew that if she didn’t do something, she would die. She has PTSD that comes out when she is under a great deal of stress due to not being taken seriously. The counseling helped give her the strength to end the relationship. She has since done a terrific job raising her children who are all successful.

    Another woman was wooed by a widower. His extremely romantic behavior ended once they were married. He seemed to be looking for someone to care for his out-of-control and disrespectful children. She was beaten down to the point that she was unable to leave on her own. In her case she had a good friend who took over and moved her and her daughter out of the house. She eventually got a job transfer out of state and began recovering there.

    Advice to Shelly? She’s been through a lot and she needs someone to help her sort through her situation. She is unlikely to get good advice from her family, her husband or his family. My recommendation is to get counseling. There should be mental health facilities that she can afford (i.e. free). If one counselor isn’t helpful, she should find another.

  13. jm says:

    I really do not get people staying in abusive relationships but having said that there must be something in it if ShelLIE chooses to stay. I think she is lazy and unintelligent and likes the easy money that GZ makes for having shot and killed a black kid. They both seem to be living the good life without having to work and with no education. The whole family appear to be grifters having fame and fortune for having killed a relative who killed a black teen male and that includes RZ, Jr as well as ShelLIE..

    This family and the jurists as well as the prosecutors and defense teams will keep my family out of Florida as a tourist. I

    • Girlp says:

      It can happen with anyone, men suffer abuse as well but in smaller number.

      • Two sides to a story says:

        Men seem to hook up with alcoholics or fast girls or nags or women who overspend. The abuse tends to be more of a psychological nature, although you will get a few women who physically abuse.

  14. racerrodig says:

    I’d be willing to bet that they look at her as a loser because she took a plea deal. I believe they cannot see anything as it truly is, only the Zidiot way.

    “Hey, I beat the rap…….and you……didn’t”

    It’s clear as a group they hold women in very low esteem, and her plea deal, which he probably looks at more like she rolled over on him, is pissing him off. How dare you don’t do what I say.

    Kind of like Fogen giving Trayvon the 3rd degree that night…..and hell will be paid.

    As far as the topic of this thread…….one thing I do know is that everyone I know that was in an abusive relationship suffered far to long before making a split. My sister in law was abused for 13 years that I know of and nothing would stop it.

    Friends and neighbors we have seen go through the same thing and endure way to long.

    My answer is seek help and bail out.

    • Girlp says:

      George and his family looked at her as a loser the moment he met her, she’s his puppet…Hopefully she is starting to wake up, she should listen to the jail house recordings and how he talks about her. I’m willing to bet she already knows as she blames him for taking her self-esteem.

  15. crazy1946 says:

    Unfortunately for many women (or men) there is often only one way out, “death”! Many people fail to realize that abuse is not limited to physical injury or even overt mental injury, some times it is done in ways that the public or even close friends never see or realize that it is taking place. Some times even the person who is being abused does not want to admit to themselves that they are actually being abused by some one they love and trust… Remember, they say that love is often blind…

  16. ” Their absence at her plea and sentencing certainly indicates a lack of emotional support. ”

    My thoughts too. They couldn’t even do that much, and that speaks volumes.

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