Hey, it worked in brownies, and it’s herbal, right?

Think how it would cool those inevitable family squabbles that erupt every holiday! We’re onto something!

I think I had a good start and I know I didn’t do good job with the rest. It’s hard for me to go there with the passion professor advocates. My writing usually goes thru several edits before I’m satisfied.

Professor, I interpreted the questions you asked as guidance to get me to the next level. Thank you.

I want to add one more thing and this point goes to everyone.

Be yourself.

Try different stuff and develop your own style.

And don’t forget to have fun.

Remember: Vee are not zee Borg.

Yes, I’ve read the Professor’s critique and I see what he’s looking for. But we are all sitting at the feet of the master, and we are all learning from each other.

First, I admired your knowlege and organization. Something this important goes through multiple drafts. You don’t have some crazy red herring in there that will trip you up later. People will trust what you say (important!) but the Professor is looking for something that’s driven into to the jurors’ brains with 12″ nails. You’re not there YET (none of us are) but you’re not out there on Mars. Good start! Stay in orbit.

There were two passages that struck me, as both powerful and poignant, and they are the reasons I write tonight: “Trayvon did not know the defendant, nor did the defendant know him.”

Delivered with deliberate cadence, those are memorable words.

For the same reason, I really, really admired: “Trayvon, a high school junior, did not. He was unarmed.”

So take ALL of the Professor’s advice, and just keep adding a little cayenne to your writing (for this class and other writing you do.) Then … add a dash more.

At some point your classy sense of judgment will tell you when too hot is TOO HOT. But you’ll build up your confidence in handling the heat.

Keep your intelligence, your honesty and your ability to organize. One measure to follow: as ye add, so shall ye subtract. Follow the professor’s tutoring, add the vibrant details -and carve out what does not meet your new standards.

YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY!

Compare it with mine. I covered the whoop-ass factor with the forensic details emerging during the autopsy.

Death is not easy like in the movies and no one wants to die alone.

What is it about you that is most touched by Trayvon’s death?

What does it mean to you?

What does it tell you about yourself?

Why does his death matter.

When you can answer these questions, thank Trayvon, because you will know what to say and how to say it.

Not from one ego centered personality to another, but from one heart to another, one soul to another.

To persuade, you must first listen.

Persuasion does not require great oratory.

You must care and your audience must know that you care.

It’s about honesty.

Namaste

[I did not mean you should answer any of those questions publicly. They are solely for you to consider when and if you decide to do so. The answers are none of my business and I would never pry.]

Rule: Lawyers, especially prosecutors, should never vouch for witnesses.

“These facts will introduce you”

Replace with “We will show,” or “The evidence will show”

“This young black male of 17 years, who on the early evening of Feb 26, 2012 joyfully left the confines of his home to walk to a destination from which he would purchase skittle candies and tea. When I say joyfully, this young man had in mind to please his little brother and chat with his girlfriend while on his walk to and from. On his way back, out of Hell came a demonized body trailing, stalking, like a vampire, out for blood. This demonized body got his blood, he got the blood from the life of Trayvon Martin, just sucked the life right out of Trayvon with his (make) gun using only one pop.”

This is over the top, argumentative, and inappropriate for an opening statement. “Out of Hell came a demonized body” lnvokes the supernatural and literally demonizes the defendant. That’s improper and grounds for a mistrial.

Lay out the facts and let them speak for themselves. Show, don’t tell.

“That pop was aimed so perfectly to the heart of Trayvon one bullet was all it took.”

Try this:

The Medical Examiner will testify about the autopsy he conducted and he will tell you that the fatal shot entered Trayvon’s chest 1 inch left of the midline and 3/4 of an inch below the nipple. The muzzle of the gun was 2 to 4 inches away and the hollow point bullet that ended his life went directly from front to back without varying up or down, left or right, and entered the right ventricle of his heart destroying it. He will tell you that the bullet fragmented after it entered the body collapsing both lungs. There was no exit wound. He will tell you that, despite that catastrophic wound, young Trayvon likely remained conscious for a minute or two in extreme agony aware that he was dying as he slowly suffocated to death in his own blood.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the evidence will show that young Trayvon Martin died that night in the dark and in the rain because this defendant shot him to death without young Trayvon ever knowing why this defendant stalked,hunted him down, and executed him.

If I were the prosecutor, I probably would not mention the evidence that GZ sat on Trayvon’s back and asphyxiated him instead of calling 911 and attempting CPR.. I would bring that out at trial, of course and hit it hard during the rebuttal part of my closing argument.

The point I am trying to make here is that the unvarnished facts of this case are far more horrifying than the descriptive words demon, vampire and hell.

No one has to call George Zimmerman a demon.

We know him by what he did.

He is what he is and there are no words to describe it.

This is how to deliver an opening statement that no one will ever forget.